Thursday, December 20, 2007


Yes, we spend a lot of time together, nearly 24-7 with exception of occasional errands or Jon doing pool work alone. Our days have become very routine but we had something exciting and wonderful to look forward to. We wished for a cruise on our 20th and 25th anniversaries, but something always got in the way. Then with our 30th anniversary coming up, we decided now or never, it's time and it's okay to put ourselves first. We booked a cruise to the Caribbean in April of this year to set sail December 9.

With Jon being diagnosed with liver cancer in August, it looked like again there would be no way to go. In fact, we shared our anniversary last September in a hospital in Mexico. As Jon's health got better and then has stabilized, we got excited that we would actually be able to go even if we just rested on the ship and watched the sunsets.

We had a great time! We even had Jon's favorite doctor, Dr. Fingerstein, and his wife accompany us for moral support and lots of humor. We enjoyed beautiful weather, some Mayan ruins, boating, snorkling, entertainment, museums, music and dancing (Jon is a great dancer), good food and laughs. Each sunset we sat on the balcony, holding hands, taking pictures and reminiscing about the wonderful life we have had and how happy our children make us. We fell in love all over again. I am so glad we could have time together without feeling the nagging presence of that dreaded disease, where we felt almost like normal tourists enjoying life . . . and we did!

Jon was very careful on the ship eating only food on his diet. He didn't have his normal supplements or green drinks and the eating schedule was really bizzare. Where most people gain weight on a cruise, Jon lost about 4 pounds. Not a good sign. We are back on the hard core regiment here at home but it has been somewhat of an adjustment this week with good and bad days. We are looking forward to Christmas with the family and wish all of you a very merry Christmas as well. And don't eat all that sugar; it's not good for you!

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

What's Next

What is your current situation? We have reached a plateau on the road to recovery. It seems every day/week is the same as the one before. There is only so much work that can be done before I nearly pass out from fatigue or maybe it is just not enough fire in the belly to go on. Whatever the reason I continue with work and the needed assignments. I actually had to fire my gardener three times before he got the message that I was well enough to take back the little lawn work there is around here in the winter. If I had been paying him he would have stopped at my first request no doubt, but because he had been such a benefit for so many weeks he didn't want to stop. It is tough to tell people to stop helping me around here when they feel good about it. At any rate, the lawn gets mowed now once a month whether it needs it or not. I'm glad that we don't have snow to shovel.

Do you work out? I have been adding to my exercise routine. I actually bend down all the way and put my shoes on every morning and lace them up too, rather than jam my toes into them and bend the heals down like my teenagers used to do. Then after I catch my wind, I spend a great deal of time exercising my fingers on the keyboard with correspondences. People continually ask me how I feel. I don't feel anything until noon when it is time for my nap. OH! One other thing I have added to my daily routine. I do "in and outs". That's where I get IN my truck and get Out at the next stop. Then do it all over again. It is very taxing and it is just a good thing I can rest in between.

Will I be going back to Mexico any time soon? No, not unless I have a crash of some sort like return of pain, loss of weight, (eat your hearts out) or other obvious changes for the worse. If I actually grow my hair back it won't be because I went there. We can't blame that on them. Besides, my insurance does not cover any sort of alternative therapy so there is a dis-incentive to go unless we fall back into crisis.

What do your doctors say and do for you here? Nothing. Unless I agree totally with them and do as they say they are not in the least able to help me. You see, it is their ball and their field. If I don't play by their rules, then they don't want to play with me at all. Worse, if I prove them wrong (which is already the case) they get a little snooty about it. All warm and fuzzy if I call them and encouraging to the point of nausea. Yet one can easily tell by their desire to do nothing, that it is all show. Funny isn't it? They can't use anything that works for me because they are bound by law in California to only poison, cut, or burn the cancer. There are no other options for doctors. If they do actually start to use alternative therapy, they could easily be ridiculed and mocked by their piers and then eventually lose their license.

So what are you doing and will it work or not? Currently I take a product called Transfer Factor which will increase the strength of my immune system. It is the latest discovery in immune system support to be found in the past 5 years. I also take a series of herbs which will help remove toxic metals and antigens from my system. And I use frequency generation to kill the cancer virus. The last discussion I had with Dale Fawcett, a cancer researcher for the past 25 years, was about what to do next, who to see, and that I would "have a long and productive life". I sometimes hate to embarrass people purposely, but I would just love to do so to those doctors who proclaimed doom and gloom with only a few months to think about it. As I begin to study the facts about cancer cures, not treatment but cures, I find so much more faith and hope than with those who spend their lives poisoning and burning and see the results. They, therefore, become very pessimistic about any cancer course, treatment, or otherwise. They have only to explain the sad situation any patient will be in who undergoes such treatments. I also know the poison they pumped into my vanes for 8 hours not only caused my hair to fall out but sent me sliding down the jaws of death with fangs of fear. I don't want to go there again and I truly feel there is a better way. I am a quack to even state such things according to the pharmaceutical companies. But with $400,000,000,000 a year on the line in chemo drugs alone, we know there is just too much influence to allow for choices that would actually felicitate a cure.

It is with much thought, research, and study, that I have chosen the better course. Only time will tell. Lots of time! Lots and Lots of Time!!!!